top ten things not to say to your wife after you've been out of town a week....

Steven's gone.  He has been gone.  I had visions of late night blogging and finishing the photo books and calendars for Christmas.  Didn't happen.  Not even close.  Feeding three kids is full time work, keeping them alive is overtime.  On top of that each wonderful day filed was with appointments, shopping, returning, and play dates.  I could not have survived with out my friends and my parents!  (plus salads and chocolate from trader joes)

I explained to Lillian oh so early this morning that daddy was flying home today and would be home tomorrow morning when she woke up at this silly early hour.  "oh good idea" she exclaimed.  We then got a text from Steven (which is one of the numbers on the below list)  we proceeded to send him silly photos of us being blinded by the flash.  This is how we roll.... 


Here is a slightly fictional list of things not to say to the wife after having been gone for a week... most of these things Steven would never ever ever say to me...

 10. I am signing up for a program at work that will allow me to travel more.
9. I signed you up to bake all the baked goods for the office holiday party.
8. did you see all my photos of facebook
7. I am bring the party home with me.
6. did I forget to tell you my relatives are coming tomorrow
5. I am so glad you cleaned the entire house
4. the food here is just amazing, I've never eaten so well
3.I am sure you had it easy
2. my flights canceled
1. I have to work tomorrow.


To be far lets make up a slightly fictional list of top ten things a wife shouldn't say to her husband when he returns home from a week away.

12. Your room is the second to the right and its got a pink twin bed in it.
11. Ben and Jerry are my new best friends.
10. We are no longer friends on facebook
9. No Children were harmed in the making of these crafts
8. What do you mean we had three children when you left?
7. I saved the dishes for you, once the sink filled up I put them on your side of the bed
6. I forgot how to empty the diaper genie so I have been putting the dirty diapers in your shoes and drawers. :-)
5.5. The one kid wet your side of the bed. 
5. I forgot we were supposed to pick you up, we will be there in three hours. 
4. no all those McDonald toys did not come from just this week.
3. I've locked all the children in a room to see who comes out
2. My mother moved in.
1. MY TURN :-)

I've missed you and I love you honey! See you in a 9 hours- I hope that email you sent me about your flight wasn't important- I couldn't open the attachment.  Good luck.