photo credit to Elliott-my hands were a mess :-)Last year was amazing, I felt last August that it would be a really difficult year and it was. Yet I have never ever been happier. I learned quickly that keeping the kids alive, feed, clean and safe was my number one priority. Just that take a lot of work. Its tiring and never ending. My house constantly looks like a tornado of toys, my kitchen is always dusted in cracker crumbs and the laundry and dishes always pile up fast.
I could not have survived on my own. I know that. First I needed God's help most importantly... those moments of go check on the baby, or Lillian needs you, or Elliott needs attention all kept us safe and sane. How does one thank God? Prayer, Service, Study and keep moving forward-- knowing the work we do as moms most important.
Steven- yes he works a lot, but that job provides food, a roof, insurance, and vacations. He also helps me get out of the door each day in the mornings. The kids light up each time they see him and no matter how tired he is he makes time for us all. He listens to how my day was insanely crazy. Thanks hon.
my mom- she retired last August, talk about perfect timing. She shuttled Lillian to School and came to all my appointments for her with Jackson so I could still nurse him. She listened and hugged me. It was hard for me to see her sad about Lillian's hearing loss, she mourned. Then moved on as she picked up the pieces and has helped Lillian's vocabulary increase. We talk a lot. Lillian listens. We are now retraining ourselves to help Lillian also join in the conversation.
my dad- also in the Lillian carpool. He drives Lillian twice a week to school, which is no easy task. (she hates I mean HATES her carseats) He hands her cookies and sings her songs the whole way there. Dad also loves to stop at costco. Each time I get a text, headed to costco whats your list. Bread, milk, eggs, fruits etc he brings boxes of food home for us. Saving me time, energy and money. Thanks dad.
my friends- they came and took Jackson and helped me out. Meet me at the park for play/chat dates when I thought I was going loco. They pick up and drop off Elliott at school while I have to drive Lillian to Therapy. I owe them all big time. I am grateful to live near and go to church with amazingly cool moms. We all help each other out consistently.
Elliott- This kid has gone from being the center of my universe to being a outside planet. I feel guilt. I feel frustration. On my part. Elliott has had to be 6 going on 14 this year. He dresses himself, remembers things he needs done for school, cleans his room (sometimes), plays with his siblings, watches out for his siblings, gets beat up by his siblings, beats up on his siblings, and worries constant about his social calendar. I love him and really wish there were two more hours in each day I could devote solo to him. He and I have had the best time doing little projects this year, planning birthdays (his and then Lillians) we made him a pirate map for his Halloween costume, he carved the faces of all our Jack-o-lanterns this year- my hero!
Lillian- She's so sweet and caring. Make me cry to think about how much of her life she has just gone with the flow of things. As of this summer her speech has taken off. She still struggles, and at times I see how little she actually understands what people are saying around her. I have heard her and Jackson having little conversations lately. It amazes me and really really touches my heart. I had a really difficult time this summer when it was suggested that Lillian has a sensory processing issues. To me it just was fright of the unknown. All the red flags were there, we just had never heard of it and connected the dots. We have her now in therapy, lots of therapy and in addition to getting older she's doing really well. I find the more I am prepared, less stressed and relaxed the better she does in new environments. Tonight she helped make the biscuits for dinner. She took out every kitchen tool I have (including the little medicine dispenser for baby Tylenol) and used it to mix the batter. It entertained her and Jackson and only made for some extra dishes for me. Two minutes later she had an empty huge Tupperware storage and was dragging it around the house filling it with baby toys. Jackson was not a fan of this game. The pushing and pulling of the heavy box was great for her working her larger motor skills :-) I understand her a little better now. I know she is my BBF for life and I am glad to help her figure out this strange world in everyway I can. Lillian loves to spin, one of her therapist pointed out last week that when she spins her eyes don't spin, telling us that's one of the physical things her body is craving. Her we are spinning at our Church's trunk or treat last month. I get so dizzy, Lillian never does!
Jackson- Oh BABY! Although really he's a toddler now -yikes they do grow up fast. I look back at photos from last year and am just so glad he is so tough and somehow stayed safe. Lillian is a second mother to him and sometimes well that can be scary. Jackson came to our family happy to be here. He is sweet caring, loving, a jokester, eating us out of house and home and obsessed with balls. Just tonight Steven was asking Lillian where her pink blanket was and Jackson shot off to go get it. He remembered where she had thrown it in the backroom. Tuesdays are his favorite days because they are garbage truck days, he runs around the house screaming garbage turk garbage truc when he hears them coming.
My kids melt my heart everyday. Gosh I just love them and cant get enough of them. I realize more and more how imperfect I am and how grateful I have for each new day. Parenting takes 150% of your energy and somehow you still have to find time to get other things done and make time for your spouse- and the occasional treasured moment to yourself. :-)
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